Fluffy McButtershorts, your favorite sock puppet candidate, is back! This time he's here to reveal unpleasant untruths. Since it's a double negative, it's just like pleasant truths, but made of lie! The great part about it is that it requires fewer fact checkers and creates more outrage. Everyone needs a healthy dose of outrage in their daily politiquack, which is why good ol' Fluffy will include it as an optional topping on your Daily Scoop©®™ of a delicious frozen treat.
Did you know that the world hates America? Can you believe it? They don't like us being the freedom loving, phone call listening, enhanced interrogating patriots that fight for their right to admit how great we are. What's worse, they feel even worse about us than they did a decade ago. Only they don't because they really like us more but that's an inconvenient fact that won't get Fluffy elected so we'll pretend you didn't read that.
Instead, let's focus on the untruth that they hate us more now than ever and remember that, even those barbaric for'ners who live somewhere really far away could benefit from a healthy dose of a Daily Scoop©®™. Heck, for some of them we could even dig it up from the frozen wastelands of some place called 'Siberia' and drop it on their heads to help them cool off. That's the way Fluffy would stop them from getting all expansionistic. None of this tired old talky jib jab mouth flapping. There's not enough bombing in that! The DailyScooperator just digs up a mound of frozen tundra and plops it down and gloosh! Problem solved.
Vote for Fluffy McButtershorts, the sock puppet with all the wrong answers, and the world can again start hating us for good reasons instead of kind of liking us for mediocre ones.
